Okay. Ugh. So I went on my first « date. » I have to say, I hate calling it a date. The word date imposes an agenda and expectations I simply don’t have. Not right now, anyway. Like the required field of personal description says in my ad on the singles site I am somewhat begrudgingly on, I am just bored and want to get out and do stuff. I am leaving for Paris in four months for two months. I don’t think that will be an attractive relationship-starter for most. Likewise, I don’t want to go to Paris embroiled in the confines of a new relationshp. A more aged, solid and promising relationship, no problem. I’m not sure a four-month old relationship merits the sacrifice.
Anyway. I meet up with Dave. I was going to give him an alias but Dave is such a generic name already, I think he’s safe from your detection. He’s actually cuter than his pictures, which, of course, is unexpected. Usually people post their best photo, setting themselves up for an awkward scene of disappointment. Dumb dumbs. His first words to me? « Oh. I was expecting someone taller. » Apparently, unknown to me, the site somehow had me listed as 178cm tall. Are you, pardon my English, fucking kidding me? I literally wanted to just leave. The thought of having to sit there feeling like some shrimp the whole time seemed like more effort than I could bear. But I did not leave. That just seemed rude and unnecessarily dramatic. Even for me.
We chatted for just over an hour, me with my glass of house red, he with his Earl Grey tea. Location? The Victory Café on Markham Street, near Honest Ed’s. Nice place, easy, relaxed atmosphere. I had never been there before, but I would definitely go again. If you haven’t already, you should, too.
I must say, his philosophies and lifestyle were very rare and refreshing and I was intelectually stimulated. Can you believe he doesn’t own a cell phone? Quite correctly, in my opinion, he says too many people are checking their cell phones, waiting for something to happen, instead of living in the moment. Stunning. Honestly, everything Dave said was, to my mind, bang on, full of singularity and clarity. Dave is not your average robot. In fact, not a robot at all.
Then he asked something along the lines of whether I saw us hanging out again in the future, or had I even thought about that yet. He was just wondering, you see, because he thought he felt the same non-vibe coming from me, too.
Key word. Too.
Yes, I was slightly taken aback. No, I had not thought about that yet. We had only been there an hour together, over which time we had found we had very similar stances and viewpoints on many things, which he, not I, remarked upon. He also noted how much he liked this or that quality about me. I guess that’s what threw me. Either way, it’s fine. We don’t have to be « a match. » Such is life. But, he explained, he is looking for a relationship, and while this conversation was fine, he could already tell that we would not be compatible in a relationship. He is pretty good, he explained, at this age, at telling quite quickly these things. Fair enough.
My only…complaint…criticism…disappointment…is that, especially for someone who has self-declared himself to live in the moment, why we couldn’t have just said at the end: Lovely, nice to meet you. And if we called each other again, we called each other. And if we didn’t, we didn’t. Yes, I think we are looking for different things at the moment. I clearly stated what I was looking for in my compulsory personal description. He contacted me, nonetheless, based on his detection of a spark, a likemindedness, he told me. I suspect it is the height thing, which again, is completely understandable and okay. But God forbid, on his journey for The Proverbial One, he should make a friend along the way. Even a friend who isn’t perfect. I think all my friends fall under that category.
In his defense, I think most girls would just see REJECTION and the possibility of friendship would normally be laughable. In my defense, I got a message from Eurosexy086 which stated, and I quote: « did you like sport? » I would have liked to be friends with Dave and his brain and his unique ability to string together a coherent sentence and then some. Instead, at the end of « the date, » he said: Sorry if I wasted your time.
That. That was the only stupid thing Dave said.
I ended up here at By The Way Café on Bloor. Like The Victory Café, the atmosphere is easy, relaxed, and comfortable. I had the curry tofu with wild rice. Disappointingly non-spicey, but delish nonetheless. I will definitely come back here, too. Again, I recommend you check it out as well. Three new experiences tonight; woot! woot! Dave, Victory, By The Way. So, Dave, no, you did not waste my time. And it’s a shame if you think that I wasted yours.
My height has duly been changed to its proud and proper measurement of 157cm.